Monday 15 August 2011

Rusty Orange Commercial

Apart from my walk on role as cafe owner, my daughter Rusty (16/going on 45, menthol fag smoker and pinot grigio drinker) steals the ad and outstrips my earnings this year. Of course, 'back in the day' when commercials paid properly for trained professionals who after lunch at The French and an afternoon in the Colony we'd do six voiceovers and a Heineken ad before supper at Wheelers with Francis Bacon , blah, blah, blah, zzzzzzzz.
Up da yoot.

Sorry, flash is not available.

Friday 27 May 2011

Monday 18 April 2011

The Private Widdle Social Club, April Meeting : A Widdle Bit of Vegas



Showbiz... or the bizness we call "SHOW", was at the forefront of Private Widdle's mind for this event.

With life president Paul Foot in what he calls Austrailala for a month at the Melbourne Comedy festival, Private Widdle had to think of a relplacement for April's meeting and took, ooh, at least 10 seconds to come up with the name: Lenny Beige; London's top cabaret host.

Of course, Private Widdle and Lenny Beige have been old showbiz muckers since the Rediffusion days and working the summer season in Butlin's Las Vegas. Since then they had one brief meeting on the set of 'The Word", the early days of Planet 24, and C4. While Lenny cut a swathe through Amanda de Cadanet and Danny Behr - like a hot Jewish knife through a cream cheese and lox bagel - Widdle was dusting himself down liberally with what he thought was baby powder in the lavatories with Mark LaMarr and the band members of Nirvana. It made the Private's armpits very numb, let alone the bit that always stays damp between the Widdle privates and the backstage pass...

Reader; there is an element, however vague in the mists of time, of truth in this.

Fifteen or so years later they found themselves reunited on the set of The Legend of Dick and Dom. How they have thrived. (Beige and Widdle, not Dick'n'Dom) A deal was struck and Beige came to Deal and triumphed as only he can. Grown men and people in wheelchairs were weeping, so starved had they been of real showbinnez in the town. Pantomime impresarios and TV commissioners were reeling euphorically in the aisles, presented at last with real entertainment.

What the people want to see.

The most hardest working man in semi-showbizness, Beige will be back and the town will once again be on the map, New York, Las Vegas, London, Paris and Deal.

This friendship and near marriage made in showbiz heaven bore its bastard child/fruit on Saturday, with the help of East Enders Down's Mother, Emma Barton, Star also of Chicago.
Plus the yet-to-be -famous (but only a matter of time) Miss Pussy d'Amour. Mis Jezabelle duBois & MajorPerineum Twang and their performing snake...and son. The Craters and other hopefuls too numerous to mention, but copiously talented all.

The Private Widdle Social Club pulls it(self) off once again! There will be more....

Photographic evidence to follow...

Royal Wedding - Chris Palmer

My longtime advertising mogul friend and all-round filmic genius Chris Palmer has made this t-mobile viral for the Rpyal Wedding.

Monday 11 April 2011

Private Widdle, Hell's Belles

Miss Dolly Doowop
and Miss Mae Hemm
at Private Widdle.



Hell's Belles are the most marvellous dance act who have become central to Private Widdle's stable of extraordinary turns.
Accomplished, tattooed and attractive, they resurrect long-forgotten moves from the Shim-Sham to the Black Bottom via the Cardiff Stroll.

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=10150427709290173

Running their own eponymous monthly evening at the Downtown Diner in Ashford, they bring to Private Widdle not only glamour, but sheer sex appeal as they doube as hostesses, cigarette girls and provide the substance for Private Widdle's (organic) meat raffle (plus other esoteric prizes.

They are hot and they trot.



Hell's Belles also introduced Major Perineum Twang and Miss Jezabelle duBois to Private Widdle. A marriage made in er, Deal.